Sometimes you just have to hold on...

Now, normally I would write a post about something exciting but, I can't do that today. It's weird though, this issue usually donesn't bother me as much as it has today, I don't know what it is. I'm not gonna share this issue I'm just gonna write about it.

Why can't you be there for me? Why have I not talked to you for 4 years, Why haven't I seen you for 4 or 5 years? Why am I not important to you? Why do you only want to talk to me when you want something? Why can't I come visit and not have to stay with you for a year? Why do you lie to me half the time? Why are you still with her if you fight half the time? Why are you still with her when you don't agree with things she does? Why? Just why,

I really don't understand. These are all the questions that run through my mind sometimes but most importantly just now. I don't get it, why can't you be in my life. It'd be nice. I'd like to have you here to actually care about what I do. You act like I don't exist. I'm sorry that I was born. I came into your life for a reason. Why can't you accept that. Why do you have to ignore me.

I've sent you letters, I've sent you e-mails. Nothing ever works for you. You don't respond.. you don't care. Why don't you care? I just don't understand. I'm not going to let it get me down. You let people control you. Most importantly you let HER control you. Don't you get that sometimes there are people in your life who care about you but, you want nothing to do with them because of her. You just don't care. Well soon you will care.

I haven't had you in my life for quite some time, and I'm okay with that because through it all I gained someone who cares about me, who supports me, who will be there for me, who will be there no matter what happens. That's not you though. It won't ever be unless you choose to change the way you act. To actually talk to me. As of now, you're gone. You won't be the one who will be there for every important moment in my life. If you change, maybe I'll change my mind. As of now though you are gone, I want nothing to do with you, her, or anyone related to her.

If, you're reading this, well, you might know who you are. If you don't know than that's quite a shame. If you're a friend and you understand what I mean that's great but most won't get it until I truly decide to open up about it.

Yours Truly

Kristina Rene'

 

ps, sorry this is so sad I promise, I will post a happier blog post soon.