Thursday, May 21, 2015

Life Lessons from "A Work In Progress" and "In Real Life"

For so many years now I have been obsessed with YouTube and the content creators on the site called "YouTubers" many people don't understand why. The answer is that I feel real and genuine connections to these people. They seem more real to me and have taught me so many things about life and I feel like I know them. In reality, I don't know these people. Sure, I know a lot about them like their likes and dislikes, what they do for fun, what their lives are like on a daily basis. For some YouTuber's it is easier for them to put their whole story out there, for others it isn't. '

I'm so proud of all of the creators that I am subscribed to and what they are doing in their lives. More importantly, I am so happy that they are delving even further into their lives to share their stories with their viewers. Many YouTubers are writing books and that makes me really happy because I love to read. For my birthday I was given an Amazon gift card and I purchased 2 books that I was dying to read. "In Real Life" by Joey Graceffa and "A Work In Progress" by Connor Franta. 

It's crazy to think of how far both of these males have come since they first started their YouTube channels. Finding a new YouTuber that I like isn't always easy for me to do. I want to be inspired by what they are saying and what they are doing. I want to really enjoy the content that they decided to upload on a daily or weekly basis. When I was obsessed with music parodies I stumbled across Joey's channel "WinterSpringPro" Now, when I was in 5th or 6th grade I was in love with these videos. The songs that they created were so catchy and I wanted to see more. After a while, Joey started his own channel and I loved watching his personality on camera. I've seen every single video of his and I'm proud to say that. I don't know where I found the time for this but I did. Joey is such a strong individual and I'm so glad I read his book. Here are some lessons I learned from "In Real Life" 

1.) Your imagination is a great thing and you should use it. 
2.) Everyone has major struggles and life and we need to realize and appreciate the struggles. They are there for a reason. Without struggles nobody would be where they are today 
3.) Rejection is OKAY. No matter what happens you are ultimately responsible for how you respond. Getting rejected from your dream school not once, but twice can't be easy."No matter how much a situation can suck, it's ultimately your choice as to whether you're going to let it drag you down." 
4.) You should be able to share your hardships. No matter what it may be there is someone that will come along and you will be able to open up to them about everything you've gone through in life. 
5.) Don't stay in friendships if they are toxic for you. Friends are supposed to be there for you and want to do things with you. If you are in a friendship with someone and nothing ever seems to work out leave. It isn't worth your time. 
6.) Violence is still NEVER the answer 
7.) Forgiveness is important 
8.) You should be proud to be who you are. No matter what the circumstance everyone should be able to feel comfortable in their own skin. 
9.) Don't force someone to come out of the closet. Asking "Are you gay?" all the time isn't really helping that person. If they are then let them be and don't force them to say anything to anyone. If they aren't then stop asking. If they are struggling then it's best to leave them alone. Asking over and over again isn't helping them any more then it is helping you. 
10.) You have love and support. If you're just a typical ordinary person like me you have friends and family who will support you through everything in life. If it so happens that you are like Joey, then you have support from millions of fans and your close friends and family. 
11.) You never know when life will change. Sometimes it throws a curve ball. Stick to what you're doing and good things may come along. 
12.) Haters will exist and there isn't much you can do about it. You need to be able to distance yourself from them and not add fuel to their fire. Know that what you're doing is what you want to be doing. Don't let them define who you are and what you do. If you have to, take a break for a while. 
13.) Stay close to the people you trust. Friendship is about the quality not the quantity 
14.) "Small things can lead to huge changes, and if those changes end up being obstacles, try to learn from them instead of letting them crush you. 

As for Connor, I've always loved his words of wisdom on his videos posted weekly. I feel that he's real and not trying to hide anything. I'm not sure how I even found Connor. After a while all the YouTuber's start to blend together. I'm sure he was just a suggested video that popped up so I clicked on it. I was introduced to his world and I've begun to see my world in a whole new light. He's made me cry and he's made me laugh, and he's been there through the hard times. The thing is, he doesn't even know who I am and that's what I love about YouTube. After reading Connor's book I was shocked at how much a 22 year old could change my views on life. I've learned so many things that I'm not even sure how to summarize but I will do my best. Here are the things I learned from "A Work In Progress" 
1.) No one has to be anything. Guys can do girl things and girls can do guy things. Actually, why is there even a label on what guys and girls can or can't do. I hate hearing the saying "No you can't do that because it's a boy thing" or "No, that's a girls toy you shouldn't play with that" What Connor says in his book is this "Gender is specific only to your reproductive organs (and sometimes not even those), not your interests, likes, dislikes, goals, and ambitions. Guys need feminine energy just as much as girls need masculine energy to get by in the world." 
2.) You shouldn't have to over think things. Go with your gut. 
3.) Stay true to yourself. "In a world conditioned to follow the herd mentality, a lot of people find it hard to stay true to themselves and accept the things particular to them. It's easy to give in to peer pressure and simply settle with what everyone else is doing, but never forget that each of us is different. You are your own individual, with your own particular set of dreams, desires, and aspirations." 
4.) Everything has a purpose 
5.) "Wholeheartedly pursue your passions. Do the things you love and love the things you do."
6.) "Failure is your teacher, not your judge"
7.) Be creative take the risk and embrace failure. Go with the ideas you have. If you need to embarrass yourself at a restaurant by standing on a chair to get the perfect picture of your food that you want, then do it. 
8.) Look at the finer details "Life is about looking beneath the surface and seeing what lies beyond different appearances."
9.) If you let your scars own you then they will. Don't ignore scars, they are daily reminders that something happened to us. 
10.) The "flaws" we carry make us unique. 
11.) Friendship: It's not about the quantity its about the quality. "True friendship is counted in memories, experiences, troubles shared; it's a bond built up over time in person, not a virtual tally on the internet. It finds you; you don't find it."
12.) You don't need to like everyone and everyone doesn't have to like you. 
13.) If you want to have a good time, make it a good time. There is no point in saying people can't have fun without you. If you are concerned that you are missing out talk to some friends and go and do something. You need to care less about missing out on things and do things for yourself. The present is now and you won't get it back.
14.) Change perspective. "If you do, the big things that haunted you at school seem so pointless." 
15.) Social Media is addicting. Okay, who doesn't know this obviously it is. 
16.) "If you are truly confident, you don't need to seek the likes of others." I'm all for posting a selfie if you feel you look great. Here's the thing, you don't just need likes on that picture. You shouldn't focus on the numbers. It doesn't matter how many people liked it. "It's okay to seek likes. But it's not okay if you allow those likes to become the foundation of your sense of self-worth..." "Be numb to the numbers, don't let them numb you."
17.) "The choice is ours: engage with real life or escape into a virtual world. Do you want to communicate with living, breathing people right in front of you? Or wait until some lifeless words pop up on a screen? You decide which is more fulfilling." This really got me thinking. As a society I think everyone is on their phones a little to much but we were raised with technology. I honestly believe that people have forgotten how to talk. I've thought about this for a while (if you call a day after reading this a while) and when I'm with people I'm putting my phone away. I want to value conversation and actually be with that person and not wrapped in a conversation with someone else on a screen. 
18.) Labels. "We humans are complex beings; we cannot simply be categorized." Labels provide a "launch pad for judgement" People are going to view you based on what you do, wear, say, read, watch, anything really. Let other people apply labels but don't let those labels define who you are. "Use the opportunity to take those labels and redefine them. Enhance it. Expand on it. Break through the barriers and limitations. Carve out an identity that is unique to you. Don't agree to be marked, filed, and put into a box that will hinder your true potential. Who are you? The answer: You are who you are in this given moment. Label-less. Limitless. Remember that from this day forward." 
19.) "Live now, worry later." Now, I'm not saying that I learned to just be crazy and do whatever but do things in the now. In the future, you'll look back and not like the fact that you sat and did nothing as a teenager or you sat on social media for a whole night when you could have been doing something with friends.
20.) Every decision you make is a building block for the future, 
21.) Finding yourself won't end in high school it will most likely be a lifetime journey
22.) "All of us have barriers in the way." "What do you want to do, be, or say, but feel you can't or shouldn't, based on the limitations and expectations within you or those around you? Remember this: your thoughts, wants, needs, and desires are valid. If you keep coming back to a lane in your life that you're to afraid to take, perhaps accept that life is leading you there; maybe one day, try taking it. Get past the fear of the what-if and just do it. Then, and only then, can you know the truth about yourself." 
23.) Why do we need struggles in life? "Without the struggles the triumphs wouldn't taste as sweet." You can't hide the low periods in life. You need to accept that they are there. 
24.) If you are in a rough patch in your life, the only person able to pull you out of it is yourself. Be the conqueror not the helpless victim, 
25.) Being lonely isn't such a bad thing. Loneliness can offer you time to process you thoughts and to really get to know who you are. 
26.) Life doesn't wait for anyone. You need to be happy with what you are doing and accept who you are and what you have. Sitting around being ungrateful helps nothing. If you want to live a happy life then live it, go do something make friends, eat good food, find a frantastic (see what I did there? ;) ) book to read. You need to be yourself and be happy with what you are doing in your life. You can't sit around and wait for life and exciting things to come to you, you need to find them. 
27.) Pursue your dreams. If anything that I've learned from this book this is something I am carrying with me. I've learned so many new things about life and my eyes have been opened up to a whole new world. I know that in order to do what I want and be successful I need to go out and pursue that dream.

This is why I love YouTubers, after reading their books they have become even more real to me then they ever have. I feel like I've known them for years even though I've never had a real conversation with them. Sharing their lives on the Internet can't be easy, also delving into parts of their past that they probably wished to cover up can't be easy either. I just want to say Thanks. Without you doing so I wouldn't have this new-found perspective on how to live my life. 


All I can say is Thank You! Thank you Connor and Thank you Joey. You've been big parts of my life for quite some time and I can't express how much both of you have changed my life, I've learned so much from each of you just by watching your videos. In the 2 days that it took me to read both of your books, I can honestly say it was worth it. You both deserve to be where you are right now. Your struggles have made you stronger and I'm so proud of both of you for how far you've come. You have both given me equal amounts of laughs and even made me cry a few times. I'm going to treasure these books forever and look back on them from time to time and hopefully learn something new whenever I read them again. Thank you for the new perspective on life. 

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