Just give me a reason

I never knew how much something could affect me until it suddenly slips away. I guess that's what I do, I tend to push people away. I don't realize how good it was until it's gone. I've done it twice in a row, who's to say it's not going to happen a third time. I'm worried, I don't want you to get hurt. I still care about you, but it's obvious you don't care about me. I won't sit and cry over you anymore, I have to move on, and forget about what we had. I still don't believe half the things you said to me. If you meant it, you'd still be here. you'd still care.

It's you whose been making me feel so depressed, and now that I know there is nothing, it's going to get worse. It always gets worse before it gets better. I regret letting you go, but you don't seem to care. I hate that every time I'm around you, I feel sad, heartbroken lonely. It's never going to end, It's hard to get over something that was never gone to begin with. I'm done wasting my time thinking about you, crying over it. I need to forget about everything.

I just wish it would be easy to forget about you, I wish that it wouldn't be so hard. I know that nothing matters to you anymore because you don't even miss what we had. I just wish I could tell you everything, how hurt I am, how much it scares me that I'm never going to have anything like what we had ever again. I want to be able to tell you so desperately and for you to tell me that everything is going to be fine.

I miss the way you used to tell me you missed me every day even if we just saw each other, I miss the hugs you gave me, I miss the warmth your smile used to bring to me, I miss the fact that the smile on my face was once for you, I miss that every time I said I was cold you wished you could be with me to keep me warm, I miss that every time I had to complain about something, you were there to listen. Most of all I miss you.

It's all gone now and it'll never come back...

Favorite Songs at the moment

I really wanted to try something new. So today and every month or so I am going to be posting my favorite songs of the current moment. Hopefully this works well and I will look forward to doing this every month.

1.) Girl On Fire By Alicia Keys. I really love this song and I want so desperatly to be able to sing it, the only thing is I can't which makes me really sad. This song though is truly amazing and I just love Alica Keys' voice.

2.) A Thousand Years By Christina Perri. This song is truly romantic and very beautiful, I am looking forward to making a video for this song soon. I find every time that I sing it that I really am singing it to someone, the only thing is I really have no clue who that person is just yet. I am really ready to find out.

3.) Hollywood by Michael Buble'. This song is completly amazing and I find myself being a dork everytime I sing it. I just love Michael Buble' and this song is really upbeat and fun.

4.) Turning Tables by Adele. This song is actually a good way to describe some relationships in my life. And again, I am looking forward to making a video to this song as well. I've got some ideas so  am waiting for it to get a little warmer outside.

5.) Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. This song is actually really beautiful and I love singing it. I find myself falling for someone at the moment so this song can completly desribe how I feel. This song has a beautiful instrumental track and it is amazing. I am also looking forward to making a video to this as well.

These would be just a couple songs. I honestly might have some more but I can't think at the moment. Stay tuned for these amazing videos though! I look forward to doing this again next month and hopefully it will be better.

With much love,

Kristina Rene'