I don't know how to say it...

I want to tell you I'm sorry. I want you to know I still care. I want you to still be there for me. I want to be able to talk to you about anything and everything. I want to have that past relationship we used to have. The only thing is.. I don't know how.

I don't know what to do about it anymore, it's hard, it's stressful. I've been in the most depressive moods lately because of you. I don't understand. It used to be so easy, now it's challenging and I can't do it anymore.

I say I'm done. I get mad, I go on rampages every time I hear your name, I don't know what it is. I can't do it anymore. I just want to tell you i'm sorry and for everything to be the way it used to be. But, I don't know how.....

I am Born Again Out of the Lions Den

I recently got around to actually recording the vocals to a long long overdue music video of Wide Awake. I'm actually really happy with the result. My friend Hannah filmed, picked out the vocals to use, and edited this lovely video. I really am so happy with all the YouTube stuff I have been able to do lately and of course Blog.

I couldn't be happier because my cover of "You're Gonna Miss Me" From Pitch Perfect has over 5,000 views!!!!! If you'd wish to see it click here. I'm just so happy I could cry. Just because of this I was able to cross of something on my bucket list and it was to get more than 1,000 views on 1 single video. I'm so happy that I actually did it because I didn't think that it was going to happen for a very long time and now that it has I am literally speechless.

I couldn't be more happy at the moment. I love singing it's not just a hobby it's a passion. I'd do it for the rest of my life if I could. I just don't know what to say I'm so speechless. Thanks for watching my videos and reading my blog. I'll write a longer post soon.

With much Love, 

Kristina Rene'

"Well Baby, That's Life."

Isn't it funny how life never plays out the way we want it too. The one thing you want at the moment goes slipping away and you don't want it anymore. Only to find out later it wants you... I have had this many times. Not many that actually hit home though. I don't like the fact how sometimes life doesn't play out the way I want it to be but, in the words of Frank Sinatra; "Well Baby, that's life." I know it is and it's devastating.

I didn't expect that the guy I loved would slip out of my finger tips. Just like that he was gone. This was a few months ago of course. I found out he had a girlfriend. I was heartbroken. Truly devastated and I knew I didn't need him in my life at the moment. I knew I had to give it time. Just yesterday I had found out him and his girlfriend broke up. I didn't expect it.

I was a little happy inside. I'm just not going into that again. What we once had it's gone now. It won't be the same. I have myself to blame for that. I'm never going to gain that back again unless of course he wishes to. If only this would've played in my favor when I  needed it to. When I still had those feelings for him. When they were truly there and I knew they were. I didn't want to let them go. I just had to though. It was for the better, for him and for me.

I'm not saying that they aren't there anymore because they are deep deep deep down. They aren't as big as they used to be and I don't think they ever will be. We both moved on. I can honestly say that no matter what, I'll still love him, I'll still care about him. It just won't ever be the same between us. I'm not going to sit here and think of what would happen if I tried to do something again. I refuse to try again. I don't want to end up getting hurt again.

This time truly, I can say "I'm not going back, I'm done with it. I truly am flipping the page and starting a new chapter"

With much love,

Kristina Rene'